November 06, 2004

Preggers Am Not

As usual, I�m feeling mighty drained. Unlike most days, I�ve got a special reason for feeling so crappy�I�m not pregnant! Scared ya, didn't I? Heh. That�s good news, people. Not that I was actually worried or anything. Nothing to worry about here, folks. I�ve just got to suffer through my monthly HELL. Thank God for Advil.

Speaking of God, I took my grandmother to Church today and it was a bit odd sitting way up front since we hadn�t done that in a while. Plus on Saturday, they�ve got this weird folksy-countryish duo singing the hymns. Acoustic guitars and strange arrangements make for a very strange vibe. It was all too Bible Belt Baptist for my liking.

Speaking of Bible Belt Baptists, I�ve been sick to my stomach about Dubya�s re-election. I literally felt tears well up in my eyes as I sat at the kitchen table mulling over post-election editorials. One friend from school likened the current situation as Orwellian---citing the control that Big Brother Bush had over so many Americans---control that was so easily ceded to him despite blatant lies over policy decisions. It�s so sad that so many young Americans will grow up with the notion that it is okay to deceive the public so long as it is in the name of American safety. 8 years. Amazing. Disgusting, really.

Ah, my stomach finally seems to be settling. No, I haven�t gotten over the Bush-Cheney victory; but I think that I�m recovering from a stress attack. Tonight I consumed 2 banana muffins. Fuck the return of stress-induced eating. I blame it on my period. Bah!

Actually, I�ve made a concerted effort to appropriately restrict my diet in an effort to save my sanity and weight-loss attempt. I�ve been maintaining for a while now and it has been exasperating. It�s been my own damn fault, so I�m trying to kick it back into high-gear. I�m back to keeping a food log and all that jazz. Plugging myself back into my �lifestyle change� support system too. It feels good. I�m going to do it this time. I never stopped doing it, but I just stalled a bit. And yes, I�m making note of the muffins that cancelled out today�s workout. I�m going to kick my ass in the gym tomorrow morning if my cramps don�t beat me to it.

I had more to say, but I have lots of work to do. I made a pact with myself, my boyfriend and with Andrew from class that I would work this weekend. I need some accountability. I�ve got some big dreams�guess I better do something towards making them come true.

There you go, Bob. I updated.

hazel at 22:03

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